Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
