You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
