I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
