it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"