if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.