check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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