At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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