I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My ass is underappreciated
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
