I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
