we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
