our cab driver is having phone sex.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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