But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.