It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.