is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
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