I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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