Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
