he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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