some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
