So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
