This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
