Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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