my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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