Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
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I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
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I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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