It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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