The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Randomize
