the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?