I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.