so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.