OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
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No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
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I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.