Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.

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  (214): Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada. http://tfl.nu/cunl
  Replies (200) Good night (7925) Bad night (2458)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels

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  (225): i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels http://tfl.nu/zg26
  Replies (58) Good night (718) Bad night (8096) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you

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  (716): I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you http://tfl.nu/bf9k
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.

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  (732): i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds. http://tfl.nu/8f3d
  Replies (8) Good night (5524) Bad night (1169) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping

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  (570): whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping http://tfl.nu/vxfh
  Replies (24) Good night (5327) Bad night (1242) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.

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  (425): all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help. http://tfl.nu/bkkn
  Replies (6) Good night (3468) Bad night (862) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.

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  (317): Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world. http://tfl.nu/k8j3
  Replies (13) Good night (872) Bad night (2832)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.

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  (519): Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even. http://tfl.nu/28ty
  Replies (7) Good night (2507) Bad night (531) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.

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  (701): I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand. http://tfl.nu/l8ik
  Replies (8) Good night (680) Bad night (1975) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.

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  (715): I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro. http://tfl.nu/7eu0
  Replies (8) Good night (806) Bad night (2258) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.

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  (903): True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad. http://tfl.nu/idc2
  Replies (6) Good night (692) Bad night (1574) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.

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  (541): I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore. http://tfl.nu/k0jx
  Replies (5) Good night (1656) Bad night (410) Order T-Shirt
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  (909): View more from California

  I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.

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  (909): I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit. http://tfl.nu/gsje
  Replies (5) Good night (421) Bad night (1323) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk

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  (847): being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk http://tfl.nu/qiyf
  Replies (6) Good night (891) Bad night (367) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I had a salad today

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies

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  (978): When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one (847): I had a salad today (978): Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies http://tfl.nu/rhtj
  Replies (2) Good night (790) Bad night (389)

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