Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
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My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
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Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.