Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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