Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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