Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
