I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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