Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
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If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
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We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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