it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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