We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm getting married
To pizza
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You were trust falling into bushes
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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