yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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