My liver just broke up with me...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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