What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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