worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
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I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
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I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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