..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
