i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
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