She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
