You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
