We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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