Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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