It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
