Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
