Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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