I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
