my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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