my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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