I'm jealous of your bromance
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
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