Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
