i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
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he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
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When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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