So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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