He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
