the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
