He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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