Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
