South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
they need to just BURY HIM!
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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