I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
