im having a threesome with these popsicles
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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