why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
