That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
