Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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